120 grams of pure hell

Note:  okay, I love animals:  Four dogs, half a dozen tree frogs, hundreds of tropical fish, and one very precocious Sun Conure that answers to “Goose”.    The Sun Conure lives in my office.  She has her own cage (for at night) but considers my entire office HER CAGE!

I am allowed in because I am her pet and I take care of her – others can only enter if she allows and, even then, she will screamed at them the entire time.

Perhaps I picked the wrong office pet.


Things they don’t teach you in business school, if you have an office pet you may someday repeat the following phrases.

 Please stop biting me.    

Get your tail feathers out of my salad.

No coffee for the bird!

Shut the door to her cage (my office)!

No, my boobs aren’t laughing/moving – it’s my bird.

Watch your step!


She will tell you when you are not meeting the guidelines of “her cage” (formally known as my office)

Look of displeasure (usually emerging from my shirt or her play swing)

I’m trying to ignore you but you are pissing me off.

Screaming: Leave or I will fuck you up!!


The bite!

Yup – nothing in a Master’s degree to prepare you for that shit y’all!

P.S. – yes, the camera was damaged in the making of this blog post.  shit.



  1. She is so pretty! Monkey loves the feathers you sent, btw 🙂

  2. OMG………hilarious! Thank you!

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