I usually have between one to five medical appointments per week so it’s not like I’m scared of doctors or anything. I just freaks me out a little when they open their mouths and words come out.
Today was with my dear Dr. Romney (no shit – and, yes, he looks a lot like Mitt whom I’m assuming is some cousin, sister-wife, or something) had scheduled a hot date today at the crack of dawn (roughly 9:00).
see, he looks a bit like Mitt!! (but human)
So the good Republican Nominee doctor was in fine form for a Monday morning (bastard).
Dr. R. (cheerfully) Hey Lynette, it looks like you have gained over ten pounds in roughly 2 months. What is going on?
Me: Um . . . I blame the Chantix???
Dr. R. Nope! (glaring)
Dr. R. (clears throat)
Me: Okay, okay – I’ve had probably 7 milk shakes in the past 2 months. I’M SORRY DON’T HURT ME!!!!! okay, the last part was in my head, kind of a knee-jerk reaction to interrogations from doctors/religious figures/father/CIA agents
Dr. R. (looking at his computer) Hmmm, could be the combination of your meds.
Me. Can I take the milk shake confession back??
After determining that, yes, my hands and feet do in fact look like hellish balloons he pinch-hit for my rheumy (who is on pregnancy bed rest – bitch) and put me back on METH . . .(otrexate) and celebrex.
And told me to do yoga.
Fuck – another person telling me to just get off my ass and exercise.
This time though it wasn’t some online twack, someone in the “alternative medicine” field, or one who practices yoga as a religion . . . it was someone who looks like that Republican nominee that loves hates healthcare! WTF??
Okay, apparently this is serious. So, after work I dragged my ass (and all associated parts) home, after stopping at the liquor store for encouragement, and cleared our half of my room.
I moved furniture.
Set up my audio/visual system (my inner geek needs to be at peace too).
I even cleaning years of dust and clutter (I found my 2008 taxes!!! – no shit).
Finally, I have a yoga space.
If I only wasn’t too exhausted to use it.
Tomorrow’s menu? Adventures with the endo!
I did set up an appointment with an acupuncturist though – shhhh, don’t tell the insane portion of my family, they will be having me see their voodoo doctors in no time!