Butt crack of dawn

I usually have between one to five medical appointments per week so it’s not like I’m scared of doctors or anything.  I just freaks me out a little when they open their mouths and words come out.

Today was with my dear Dr. Romney (no shit – and, yes, he looks a lot like Mitt whom I’m assuming is some cousin, sister-wife, or something) had scheduled a hot date today at the crack of dawn (roughly 9:00).  http://intermountainhealthcare.org/providers/profile.html?id=6396&brand=img

         see, he looks a bit like Mitt!! (but human)

So the good Republican Nominee doctor was in fine form for a Monday morning (bastard).

Dr. R. (cheerfully)   Hey Lynette, it looks like you have gained over ten pounds in roughly 2 months.  What is going on?

Me:  Um . . . I blame the Chantix???

Dr. R.  Nope!  (glaring)

Me:  Fatigue?

Dr. R.  (clears throat)

Me:  Okay, okay – I’ve had probably 7 milk shakes in the past 2 months.  I’M SORRY DON’T HURT ME!!!!!                    okay, the last part was in my head, kind of a knee-jerk reaction to interrogations from doctors/religious figures/father/CIA agents

Dr. R.  (looking at his computer)  Hmmm, could be the combination of your meds.

Me.  Can I take the milk shake confession back??

After determining that, yes, my hands and feet do in fact look like hellish balloons he pinch-hit for my rheumy (who is on pregnancy bed rest – bitch) and put me back on METH . . .(otrexate) and celebrex.

And told me to do yoga.

Fuck – another person telling me to just get off my ass and exercise.

This time though it wasn’t some online twack, someone in the “alternative medicine” field, or one who practices yoga as a religion . . . it was someone who looks like that Republican nominee that loves hates healthcare!  WTF??

Okay, apparently this is serious.  So, after work I dragged my ass (and all associated parts) home, after stopping at the liquor store for encouragement, and cleared our half of my room.

I moved furniture.

Set up my audio/visual system (my inner geek needs to be at peace too).

I even cleaning years of dust and clutter (I found my 2008 taxes!!! – no shit).

Finally, I have a yoga space.

If I only wasn’t too exhausted to use it.

Tomorrow’s menu?  Adventures with the endo!

I did set up an appointment with an acupuncturist though – shhhh, don’t tell the insane portion of my family, they will be having me see their voodoo doctors in no time!



  1. Only YOU would have kin of Mitt Romney’s as your Doc. You grumpy old milkshake drinking thing. Love ya.

    • I think they saw I was a registered Dem and set me up with him. Sort of like the programs they have to turn homosexuals straight through religion but for politics (which are one in the same in Utah)

  2. And PS, I love the nuclear explosion pic up top. 🙂

  3. Like your sister says “When all else fails, try Voodoo.” 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: