It’s NOT in my head (but if you say that again it might be upside yours!)

Okay, anyone who read yesterday’s post might think, she is depressed.

Yup.  No shit.

Let me explain depression.  It is a chemical imbalance in the brain chemistry.  Not “being moody”, not “having a bad day”, not “you just need some sleep” or any of the other crap that I’ve been hearing from a certain (Clueless) person this week.

I am on antidepressants.  I have to be, the constant problems with my thyroid replacement medication levels (thank  you Cancer – asshole) and chronic pain has messed with my brain chemistry so much that it is really a matter of life or death whether or not I take a Cymbalta pill every day.   Maybe my life, maybe someone else’s.  🙂

On top of it being April, I’m also on Chantix to stop smoking.  You know the old line from “Airplane” – I picked a bad week to quit smoking.   Yup, I did!   Chantix can cause depression.  I have an appointment with my MD on Monday to discuss it (and the back pain, and all of the other shit).  Not quite ready to come off the Chantix yet – I’d really like to give it a couple more weeks to make sure it “sticks” but we’ll see.  I was thinking that Cymbalta wasn’t strong enough prior to starting the Chantix.

So when someone is going through depression here are a couple of things that I have found will help ease their burden:

  • do something to help them without being asked
  • don’t just “leave them alone” hoping they “will get over it” – stress makes depression worse, so does feeling abandoned
  • don’t pick a fight with them.  This should be a “no brainer” but you would be surprised how many people out there are also no brainers!
  • tell them you care and that you can see they are struggling and that you are there for them
  • get them out of their environment, if just for lunch – they need a breather
  • talk them into seeing a medical professional

Things that DO NOT help:

  • making up some lame excuse and leaving when a huge project starts
  • telling them that they are being “moody”, “emotional”, “a bitch”, “unreasonable”, etc.
  • dumping more stress or responsibilities on them.  Depressed people are damned lucky if their shoes match today, don’t push it with them!
  • don’t criticize them over stupid things (like the fact that you lost your smoking buddy because they stopped smoking; that someone else misinterpreted what they said; . . . oh, I could go on, and on, and on)
  • don’t complain (i.e., DUMP) about your little problems to them right now.  The fact that you can’t figure out how to download some app isn’t the end of the fucking world but if you keep pushing the depressed person past the point of no return it may be for them!
  • do NOT do the same thing with the depression that you did with the cancer (and recurrences), emergency surgeries, painful infections, ongoing medical problems, etc. by turning it into the perfect time to say “yeah, but I have this horrible hangnail/splinter/what-the-fuck ever”
  • oh, and do NOT bitch about the depressed person missing a couple of hours of work next week to see doctors.

Just remember, the life you save just might be your own!



  1. YES. That is so right on. I want to print this up and send it to everyone I know. In fact, I am emailing it to 2 people I know right now.

  2. Dawn Bogard

    Love this post. Maybe we wouldn’t be so moody, crabby or negative if everyone else would just do what the F they should. Seems like the more anti depression meds I take, the stupider everyone around me becomes. I am constantly in situations that are way beyond the capacities of my meds. I have enjoyed reading your posts. Keep on keeping on friend 🙂

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