Fear the Fucking Welcome Wagon!

Some people have no idea what awaits them when they walk into the door which Clueless is behind.   (note I said “into” – not “through” because through would imply progress)

Want to walk past that “No Soliciting” sign and ask the large, angry, well-armed guy with PTSD if he is interested in switching internet companies?

Good fucking luck.

Want to hit him up for a $20k loan because you came across a great opportunity and you only need $20k but should be able to pay it back next week when $100k is deposited into your account?

Hehehe – knock your socks off.

Want to come in and tell Clueless that the gas company that sent five technicians over who spent three hours climbing all around the building and who said the roof-top furnace is leaking CO2 and gas into the building were all wrong and that “everything is fine.”

Stand by and prepare to be boarded!

Every time one of these things happen (typically once or twice a day, in varying formats) I just want to run for the hills – I’ve seen this play out too many times.

(Dear god, there is a reason I’m on blood pressure meds!!!!)

Here’s the wind up . . .

Volume.  Set to 10.

Fists.  Balled up.

Forehead veins.  Popping.

Spit.  Ready to fling out with the force of a good drill instructor while barking orders.

OMG – RUN!

You know in the old Batman and Robin cartoons when the violence was blotted out by a little “POW” or “BIFF”?   That’s what my twisted, tired brain has started doing.  Now I just picture Clueless puffing up, getting ready to punch someone then pulling the punch at the last second, hitting the person just hard enough in the nose to start a small drip of blood.  Complete with the sound effect of “boop.”

Yeah, you’ve met the fucking welcome wagon and now you know why I’m heavily medicated.

(boop)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: